I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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