I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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