New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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