if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
