Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
