super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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