playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Couch. On fire.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
