i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
