Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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