Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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