At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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