I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
