Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
