You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
