i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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