I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
