Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well you can't waste a boner
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
