You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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