Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
