The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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