In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You can't special order awesome
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
