if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
