Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
