It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
handjob tips. give me some.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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