Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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