carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
