How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
