i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Acid is not a monday night drug
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
