he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it because I queefed?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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