Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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