So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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