just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
try to milk me bitch
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
