____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
