I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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