I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
