I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
