I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
