I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
