so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
