Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
