How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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