never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
