I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sext me about skeletons
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
