You work out of a Hotel?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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