She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Say something about gay babies.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
