My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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