we're blogging at a bar
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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