I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
