Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
