I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
