New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
